BEHIND CLOSED DOORS

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“So, now that we’re alone…”

She turned towards me, a puzzled smile on her lips.

“Huh?”

The number on the electronic panel of the elevator changed to 2 and I knew I had roughly 45 seconds before we reached her floor.

“I just wanted to tell you just how much you mean to me.” I said.

“You mean a lot to me too.”

“Yeah, but you don’t mean it the way I do. You mean it in the you-are-my-ever-reliable-buddy-the-funny-guy-from-the-office-who-I-will-never-be-attracted-to way.  I mean it in the why-can’t-you-see-me-for-the-wonderful-guy-that-I-am-and-I-will-spend-my-life-making-you-happy way?”

The number on the electronic panel of the elevator changed to 6 then 7.

“But….”

“I know, I know. Friend. Brother. Safety zone. I get it. But that’s a one-way street that I’ve been trying to turn into an intersection where our hearts could finally meet, except you can’t do that when the road ends in the friendzone.

The number changed to 12, then 14, then 15.

“Joey…”

“Can’t you see how much I wish you wouldn’t say “I feel safe with you” and instead say “You make me feel safe?” That sometimes, I wish you get hurt more often, because it is only when you are in tears that you come into my arms?”

The number changed to 20, 21, 22, 23.

“Don’t do this.” She said.

“I can’t stop myself.” I answered. “If I could stop it, I would have a long time ago, before you became my world, before you took away the sun and replaced it with your smile. If I could, I would have stepped away from the fool’s gold that is the possibility of a blissful future with you and, instead, lived the unremarkable life unmarred by great passion.

The number changed to 26, 27, 28, 29, 30. Ding! The elevator door opened. She rushed through then stopped and turned around.

“Don't follow me.” She said. The elevator doors closed softly.

“But I love you.” I whispered to no one.

The elevator began its descent, uncaring and unaffected by my falling tears.